The seed of owning a place of your own has been sown. The choices are vast and the questions overwhelming. Exactly which question you tackle first is as confusing as an attempt to justify the big frizzy hair, golden glitz & other 80s fashion disasters.
To ease the pain, you swift through the google responses & come up with a list....you must get your background information before you start running off to the builder sites. You take a few steps by hitting some links:
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
road rage
As I drive every day across the city, my commute gives me abundant time to evaluate things I see on the highways. Trying to anticipate a fellow driver's move involves studying their pattern for the few seconds that you share with them.
Today, on my drive in I signaled to change lanes & the bully in the next lane actually sped up & started tailgating me, perhaps offended by letting me in. As soon as they got a chance, they switched to the other lane...as if saying that they won't follow me. I remember this incident because as I saw this white mazda protege in my rear-view mirror, I could actually sense the negative vibes...probably something to do with the fact that it was an inch away from my car. I felt pressured & genuinely concerned for my safety. Couldn't help by shake my head in disbelief by this person's actions.
What must that person be thinking...I can't quite understand the immaturity that so many drivers showcase when they're on the road.
Today, on my drive in I signaled to change lanes & the bully in the next lane actually sped up & started tailgating me, perhaps offended by letting me in. As soon as they got a chance, they switched to the other lane...as if saying that they won't follow me. I remember this incident because as I saw this white mazda protege in my rear-view mirror, I could actually sense the negative vibes...probably something to do with the fact that it was an inch away from my car. I felt pressured & genuinely concerned for my safety. Couldn't help by shake my head in disbelief by this person's actions.
What must that person be thinking...I can't quite understand the immaturity that so many drivers showcase when they're on the road.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
the space between us
After trying to read several books in the past few months, I could never get past the first chapter for some reason. Sifting through books at the local library this one, titled "The space between us" caught my eye. A few days later I picked it up again & as I read the first few lines I knew I'd be hooked! The writing style enthralled my imagination from the get-go."The thin woman in the green sari stood on the slippery rocks and gazed at the dark waters around her. The warm wind loosened strands of her scanty hair, pulling them out of her bun. Behind her, the sounds of the city were muted, shushed into silence by the steady lapping of the water around her bare feet..... Balancing gingerly on the rocks, feeling the rising water tonguing her feet, the woman raised her face to the inky sky for an answer...She could scramble over these rocks, climb over the cement wall, and re-enter the world; partake again of the mad, throbbing, erratic pulse of the city. Or she could walk into the waiting sea, let it seduce her, overwhelm her with its intimate whisperings... "
Sunday, November 12, 2006
jeans
The ass-clinching, self-indulgent shopping for jeans over the weekend proved to be an uplifting experience. Trying on pair after pair & making sure the one you pick makes your rear seem irresistible. What's the obsession with the ass anyway...that's probably what leads to the hype about the perfect pair of denim. That's the thing about going to a store that sells jeans, and only jeans. The way sales associates openly remark about how great your ass looks in a pair is perfectly normal & in fact, it's expected. No where else would any stranger be allowed to evaluate & discuss your curves so. It's worth the troubles when you walk out of the store after being fussy over all the other pairs. All is well that ends well!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
goals
I approached my friend as he stared into space, a streak of sadness in his eyes. It didn't seem right. Like so many of my peers, he had just recently started a new job. I found myself asking him why he was not excited about something he had longed for? Why such gloominess?
He had been pondering over his decisions & I got the feeling that he might have just begun to give up on himself. He has great ideas floating in his mind but at times he lacks action. He said, "If I don't know what I want, then I'll never get it". He might have hit the nail on it's head. I found myself repeating his thoughts. You have to want something in order to accomplish it. For without goals, you are a wandering soul...no challenge, no joy, no destination.
I consoled him. Reassured him that he just needs some time to figure things out, for you cannot rush things. To explore himself & his surroundings. He needs to start paying attention to himself. So my friend, don't lose yourself in your day-to-day chores. Make time for yourself & do one little thing every day that brings you joy. In the process you will rediscover your identity & be at peace with yourself.
He had been pondering over his decisions & I got the feeling that he might have just begun to give up on himself. He has great ideas floating in his mind but at times he lacks action. He said, "If I don't know what I want, then I'll never get it". He might have hit the nail on it's head. I found myself repeating his thoughts. You have to want something in order to accomplish it. For without goals, you are a wandering soul...no challenge, no joy, no destination.
I consoled him. Reassured him that he just needs some time to figure things out, for you cannot rush things. To explore himself & his surroundings. He needs to start paying attention to himself. So my friend, don't lose yourself in your day-to-day chores. Make time for yourself & do one little thing every day that brings you joy. In the process you will rediscover your identity & be at peace with yourself.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
down & out
As I sit in my cube on the abandoned part of this floor, I can't help feel sad. Wouldn't it be convenient to blame it on the weather. But the hollowness that I'm feeling goes deeper than that. It's the feeling of isolation, like being in a desert where your eyes long for company in the vast sea of emptiness.
Where are those days when you worked hard & played harder. When you were surrounded by smiling faces. A place where you felt valued, where you knew people & could walk over and talk to everyone on a hustling-bustling floor. Where is that foosball table, which was more of an asset when it came to socializing...a great excuse to meet people on the floor, a way to feel connected.
I suppose I should make an effort to initiate talking to people. If I put myself in a cage, no one will come to my rescue.
These feelings so closely resemble what I felt when I first moved to a different country. Same feeling of isolation and though it gets better, it takes a while. I've been through such swings before...every time it's a struggle. You forget the hard times & remember the things that made it better.
I just hate not knowing people around me. Not having someone to share a laugh with. Not having someone to listen to my corny jokes.
*sigh*
Where are those days when you worked hard & played harder. When you were surrounded by smiling faces. A place where you felt valued, where you knew people & could walk over and talk to everyone on a hustling-bustling floor. Where is that foosball table, which was more of an asset when it came to socializing...a great excuse to meet people on the floor, a way to feel connected.
I suppose I should make an effort to initiate talking to people. If I put myself in a cage, no one will come to my rescue.
These feelings so closely resemble what I felt when I first moved to a different country. Same feeling of isolation and though it gets better, it takes a while. I've been through such swings before...every time it's a struggle. You forget the hard times & remember the things that made it better.
I just hate not knowing people around me. Not having someone to share a laugh with. Not having someone to listen to my corny jokes.
*sigh*
goodbye
Dear Friend,
As you leave today I feel excited for where Life is taking you. Your path seems perfectly chosen for you. It's as if pieces of the puzzle have started falling into place. You are being offered a chance to live in the city that you're madly in love with. Everything that you wanted is coming your way & for that I feel overjoyed.
It's not as if I won't see you again, but this seems to be a good excuse to let you know what a special person you are. The way you get excited about little things is endearing, and how you're up for doing anything tops that. You've been there to listen to my pet peeves & constant ramblings. If you weren't my friend I'd need a shrink! So thanks for saving me lots of money.
Hope you realize what a smart cookie you are ...(can I have a bite?)... it's been great to see how silly you can be & how little things bug you just as much as they annoy me :P I've shared my deepest, darkest thoughts (well, almost all of 'm)...so keep them to yourself. It was great to realize that you were just as confused & indecisive about things as I was....just made everything seem ok somehow.
Glad that we met & bonded over stupidity & annoyances of others. Keep in touch!
Good luck with your new job, new place, new roomies.....don't miss me much.
...and the excitement has just begun!!
As you leave today I feel excited for where Life is taking you. Your path seems perfectly chosen for you. It's as if pieces of the puzzle have started falling into place. You are being offered a chance to live in the city that you're madly in love with. Everything that you wanted is coming your way & for that I feel overjoyed.
It's not as if I won't see you again, but this seems to be a good excuse to let you know what a special person you are. The way you get excited about little things is endearing, and how you're up for doing anything tops that. You've been there to listen to my pet peeves & constant ramblings. If you weren't my friend I'd need a shrink! So thanks for saving me lots of money.
Hope you realize what a smart cookie you are ...(can I have a bite?)... it's been great to see how silly you can be & how little things bug you just as much as they annoy me :P I've shared my deepest, darkest thoughts (well, almost all of 'm)...so keep them to yourself. It was great to realize that you were just as confused & indecisive about things as I was....just made everything seem ok somehow.
Glad that we met & bonded over stupidity & annoyances of others. Keep in touch!
Good luck with your new job, new place, new roomies.....don't miss me much.
...and the excitement has just begun!!
morning mist
The time for a change has come. I chose to start afresh in new surroundings for I was getting too comfortable where I was. Change is challenging....you're forced to re-examine your ways & adapt as the situation dictates.
My commute is a hassle now so I insist on being an early bird. It's painful...being disciplined 'n all, but ultimately that's what I've been missing. So as I drove through the thick fog this morning, I embraced the idea that change is difficult, it can be trying but it's just what we need to refocus.
My commute is a hassle now so I insist on being an early bird. It's painful...being disciplined 'n all, but ultimately that's what I've been missing. So as I drove through the thick fog this morning, I embraced the idea that change is difficult, it can be trying but it's just what we need to refocus.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
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